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Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Doctor studying sexual abuse says we need to change our social response to perpetrators

 This new story seems to have stirred up a great deal of anger on today's social media and I can understand why. It seems difficult for "normal" society to condone research that might appear to support a violent/sexual child perpetrator. It would seem that many seem to believe that to support a perpetrator is to go against a victim. Can it be possible to solve this most terrifying communal experience by showing compassion, empathy and support for all people involved in this most terrible crime? I am a counsellor and I believe that people who have committed this and other crimes can change their behaviours under the right circumstances. Unfortunately,society fails us all. I was a victim of CSA from the age of 8 to 11 and although I still carry some deep and frightening scars, I also carry the hope that we might change as a society to create better parents and communities so that we stop producing the ongoing developmental torture that creates such crimes in the first place. In most cases, victims are the ones who create more victims in one way or another. Some may choose drugs/alcohol to deal with their past, others violence or other antisocial behaviors all depending on their personal need. We all have choices to make and I believe that with proper rehabilitation and understanding, both perpetrators and victims can choose a more positive life experience in order to find peace which may then be integrated into the community as a whole.

Four Ways to Overcome Self-Defeating Thoughts: Self-criticism and low self-worth can hold us back. Here’s how to start banishing those negative beliefs. By Tchiki Davis